{"id":2221,"date":"2022-09-23T15:25:16","date_gmt":"2022-09-23T15:25:16","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/melaniewallace.com\/?p=2221"},"modified":"2022-09-23T15:43:46","modified_gmt":"2022-09-23T15:43:46","slug":"crying-in-h-mart-and-lots-of-other-places","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/melaniewallace.com\/?p=2221","title":{"rendered":"Crying in H Mart (and lots of other places)"},"content":{"rendered":"\n
\"\"<\/a><\/figure><\/div>\n\n\n\n

It\u2019s now been a few weeks since I finished Crying in H Mart<\/em><\/strong>, but I\u2019m still thinking about it. The mark of a great book, I suppose. I started crying on page 1 of Chapter 1.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cEver since my mom died, I cry<\/strong> in H Mart.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Well, I don\u2019t cry in H Mart\u2026but I do cry in a zillion different random places, at the most inopportune and unexpected times. Sometimes, it just hits me. The shear sadness of losing my mom. I sometimes forget that she\u2019s dead and reach for the phone to call her when something particularly funny happens. She liked it when I told her funny stuff.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I almost feel guilty being such a baby about the whole thing. The author of Crying in H Mart<\/em><\/strong>, Michelle Zauder, was a very young woman at the time of her mom\u2019s death. I had my mother for 63 years.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I feel for the young children who lose a mom, of course; those tykes who will no longer have a bedtime story or a pony tail fashioned by their mother. I mourn those young women who lose their moms before their weddings or the birth of their first babies. I mourn the middle-aged matrons, facing the empty nest and menopause without the council of their mothers.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I had all of that; all of those years and all of those memories. But, the pain is there, just the same.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I\u2019ll be just as happy as a clam and stop in at a garage sale, or maybe a fabric store. I\u2019ll be frying up tortillas for a pan of enchiladas or flipping pancakes for the grands\u2026and it will just hit me. All of a sudden, the truth of my loss overwhelms me and I just can \u2019t help it.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I cry.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It\u2019s been four years and I thought that things would get better. So far, not. My mother died on the Fourth of July, so I can never forget the date. I remember telling her (sassily) when Daddy died and she tried to remember the date, that I would remember his birth<\/em> date, not the date of his death<\/em>. Only one of the many, many sassy things I wish I had kept to myself. I still can\u2019t remember the date that Daddy died, but I dread the Fourth of July every single year.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Crying in H Mart<\/em><\/strong> depicts the author\u2019s fraught relationship with her mother. I can relate to that. Though my mother loved me without question, I don\u2019t think that she liked me all that much. And, I didn\u2019t really blame her. I was about as opposite from her as anyone could be. And, frankly, not all that pleasant. But, just like in the book, there was a bond of love between us.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Our two years in Seoul, South Korea made this book even more meaningful to me. I recognized the names of places that Zauner and her mom visited in Seoul, and I recognized some of the names of foods. But, the real meaning in this book for me came with the recognition of the emotions expressed – sadness, regret, (lots of regret<\/em>), and happiness and gratitude for what had been.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I highly recommend reading Crying in H Mart<\/em><\/strong>. If you have lost your mom, I dare you not to cry. Oh heck, even if you still have your mom, I dare you not to cry.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You will cry.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You will recognize the love between a mother and daughter, no matter how imperfect the relationship might have been. You will reflect.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"\"<\/a><\/figure>\n\n\n\n

And, you will cry.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

It\u2019s now been a few weeks since I finished Crying in H Mart, but I\u2019m still thinking about it. The mark of a great book, I suppose. I started crying on page 1 of Chapter 1. \u201cEver since my mom died, I cry in H Mart.\u201d Well, I don\u2019t cry<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[1],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/melaniewallace.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2221"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/melaniewallace.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/melaniewallace.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/melaniewallace.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/melaniewallace.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=2221"}],"version-history":[{"count":3,"href":"https:\/\/melaniewallace.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2221\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":2228,"href":"https:\/\/melaniewallace.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2221\/revisions\/2228"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/melaniewallace.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=2221"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/melaniewallace.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=2221"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/melaniewallace.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=2221"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}